


Beginnings

by thephilosophersapprentice



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Edward Elric, Gen, I think Ed is gray-ace in this, Past Ed/Winry, could be mentions of homophobia and aphobia..., could be pre-ed/noah if you squint, discussion of asexual and aromantic experiences, post-Conqueror of Shamballa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-23 19:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21086618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thephilosophersapprentice/pseuds/thephilosophersapprentice
Summary: The Gate has been closed for the last time. Now, all Edward wants to do is hold onto his brother.





	Beginnings

Right now, all Edward wanted to do was hold Alphonse close. His brother was the most precious thing in the world, but when they’d been kids Edward had been too blind to see it. Alphonse slept so softly, exhausted after the transmutation that had closed the Gate—both of their last.

The IV needle taped in the crook of Edward’s one remaining arm didn’t stop him from stroking Al’s hair, running his fingers through it. With his automail arm, he shifted Alphonse closer, tucking his little brother’s head under his chin. For now, he just wanted to sit like this, without questioning the great gift he’d been given—one he didn’t deserve.

He finally understood how Hohenheim felt. What a miracle actually was. He shouldn’t be holding Alphonse right now, but he was.

Edward cradled Al’s head, praying to any deity that might be listening that time would be kind to his little brother.

Rose—no, Noah—moved toward him cautiously. Ed glanced up at her curiously.

“I’m sorry.”

For a moment Ed had no idea which of them had spoken. The silence grew awkward.

“What for?” Ed finally responded, careful not to wake Alphonse.

“I read your thoughts without your knowledge or consent.”

Ed swallowed, continuing to stroke Al’s hair, as if it was a safety blanket. “I can’t say what you did didn’t hurt me.” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry too. The other side… I’d been thinking about it so wishfully, but… the truth is, it wasn’t Shamballa. People were just as flawed and prejudiced and weak as here.” He shifted slightly, moving Al to a more comfortable position. “The only thing special about it was… it was home.”

“Was?”

Edward blinked rapidly, trying to clear his eyes. “Al is the only home I need.” He cleared his throat. “Even if it wasn’t you they were after. My country ordered the extermination of a whole race, and people went along with it just because their eyes and skin were a different color.”

“That’s awful.”

Ed nodded, not wanting to say any more. The memory of Scar’s life and death, his own failings and compromises, were subjects too complicated for him to let them be stories.

_If we want a home, we have to work for it here, ourselves._

Ed tugged at Al’s jacket to cover the bandages over the remains of the transmutation circle drawn on his younger brother’s chest. There wasn’t anything wrong that he’d been able to detect—the circle just looked like an oddly-shaped scar, now. Ed dearly hoped it would fade with time. The last thing he wanted was for Al to have to carry that forever. The identical mark over his heart didn’t matter.

“Thank goodness this place was nearby,” Noah murmured.

It was thanks to her and Hughes that Edward hadn’t died—they’d rushed him to a clinic, where a blood transfusion stabilized him after the transmutation took more than he’d hoped it would take.

Alphonse—the only one in the area who was remotely a child—to call upon the Gate, the inverse invocation circle to close it, and Edward’s blood for the material needed. It was a minuscule price to pay when dealing with the Gate.

“Where will we go from here?” Noah asked.

“Al and I need to track down a weapon that was brought from our world, to start with,” Ed murmured. “If there’s any way to stop what’s happening to this country, we need to try.”

“You can’t go on putting your life on hold, you know,” Noah said.

Ed gave her a blank stare. “What life?”

“You can’t be serious.” She grabbed his right arm. “Go out there! Find what makes you happy! Try dating someone or something! Alfons said you’ve never shown interest in a girl—”

Edward sighed. “Because I’m broken, or missing pieces, or something. It’s just not something I’ve ever wanted to do… except for once.”

“Oh… I didn’t mean to assume—” Noah stammered.

Ed looked up at her, shrugging slightly. Al stirred and Ed waited with bated breath—fortunately, Al just made a sound of content and settled back. “I just don’t feel that way about people,” Ed told her. “About _anyone_, really. Not any more.”

Noah’s face fell. Edward turned away, sighing. “I don’t need to be told. I just don’t _get_ things. Like people cheating on their spouses or whatever. It makes no sense to me. Why do they do that when it’s so easy not to?”

Noah nodded to Al. “But you _do_ care about people.”

“I still can love people,” Edward said softly. “I just think it might be different kinds of love.”


End file.
